I can see my previous post was pretty crazy....I think I'm suppose to be more patience with people around me. Anyway, I did speak to this really kind gentleman that felt sorry for me and agreed to pay for the book. He was really nice about it and reminded me a bit about my physics teacher in college. Thank goodnes for the customer, because he made my day. After that, many thoughts have been going through my head. I'm not sure why,and I don't know what to think anymore.
First I think was the fact that I have no one to hang out with during this break because everyone was busy. But I'm getting use to it and at least my friends still contact me when they are free 'yay'! Then during a trip to Penang, I realised that I am actually at the moment, a lil alone. My roommate didn't come, so I ended up in the room alone. *Should have informed them, but I'm a coward cos I still feel unstable in the company, like a misfit*. Then had to go around alone for a while. The luckily, I got my colleagues number, so I contacted her and we went out togehter for dinner with her friend. And when I met her friend, it formed more ideas in my head. Her friend was a single mum with a child. The child is really really sweet. hahaha...Likes to talk a lot. Which I feel is cool for me.
I seriously look up to her mother. She looks really confident and hardworking. The fact that she can pull through along with her daughter is just amazing!! She has to juggle everything together and keep from being emotionally influenced, I really take my hat off for her. And I also met another sinlge mum. What can I say, they're are really tough! Tough is definitely a good word to describe them. Its not easy to be alone but they did it. They make feel that we do not need to depend on others for life to be sweet. We are able to help ourselves and be happy if we try.
Then I got back and realised that I'm alone again. Thank goodness Keego called. Cos it didn't feel so sad then. The next morning, we team building. Ever felt like a moment of discomfort because everyone seems to be in a grooup, but you're standing outside. You want to join in and talk, but you can't because you don't know if you're accepted? I felt like that during the team building. It was worst when they showed a pic of me point my finger along with the leader doing the same thing. It looked like I was clashing with his commands. I honestly want to keep a low profile and that pic came up. I guess I shouldn't bother because its just a pic, just made me feel awkward. Also, at the end of the team building, everyone was splashing water. So I decided to join in and splash my colleague. Then I realised everyone has stopped and they were just bobbing, Every get that feeling was, 'Crap, was everyone watching me?' or 'What do crap are they thinking about me?'. Makes you feel like a specimen. But by having thoughts like that, it almost seems like I'm self centred. Actually, I'm the type that evaluate myself a lot so its scary to think about what people think of me. It is like na acceptance thing.
Then I went back in the car and had interesting conversation about how life works. As in we think about what we want, and some times, it comes true especially when we focus on the particular thing. I guess I can understand it. When i concentrate on going to med school, I saw a lot of advertisement on it and also my requirements. It just seems to come to me indirectly. Just waiting for me to take the oppoturnity. Life is like that. When we concentrate hard enough on what we want, it just happens. We also talked about religion which was quite interesting I must say. And lastly, in life, we make a lot of choices. The choices may be the right ones or they may be the wrong choices. But whatever the choices are, we should not regret it and should have think carefully before we make them since we have to live with it for the rest of our lifes. hhmmm....Those are my thoughts for the week I guess. Oh! I was really happy because Loong and Lydia called me ^^. They were really sweet! Also went out for lunch with Funny and Wenny last week. I really enjoyed catching up with them =P. Thanks a lot for going out with me!!! Wonder how their prom was.....
Posted at 08:34 pm by Shanny
